Reigniting Emotions

For quite some time, my emotions toward 9/11 were not as strong or empathetic as I would have liked. Suddenly, within one hour, that all changed. My senior Social Studies teacher had brought in a movie titled, "9/11". The bold film includes rare and raw footage inside the World Trade Centers at the time of the attacks, during clean up and rescue efforts, and footage of the courageous firefighters who worked diligently for several days on "Ground Zero". I vividly remember leaving class on the first day that we began the film; it was dead silent. Nobody said a word as we all exited the classroom. For me, my emotions swelled up inside of my body, and made everything else seem less important. I did not care about lunch, or saying "Hi" to friends in the hallway. What could possibly have been more important at that time than reflecting upon that film and the tragic events on 9/11? To be a survivor on that day, I have no idea how to comprehend that blessing. Is there a feeling of entitlement that comes with being a survivor? Many Firemen in the film expressed that very concept. What amazes me the most is the dedication that all of the Firemen and rescuers had to find even just one other survivor or body in the rubble. The losses on that day were enormous, and incomprehensible. To be a survivor of 9/11 is a struggle that I cannot comprehend.

Personally, I cannot remember living in a "pre-9/11" time. I do not remember airports with less security regulations, or ever having to not pack small toothpaste tubes. For me, the 9/11 "vibe" has become a part of my average life. I rarely second guess boarding a plane, since I already feel incredibly safe with the security in airports today. For me, the biggest struggle of 9/11 is comprehending its greatness and river of emotions that flows with it. I do not remember where I was, or what I was doing on September 11, 2001, so 9/11, in a way, is a disconnected event for me. However, I still attempt to feel a connection to that mournful day. Knowing that I was alive at the time, and impacted indirectly by the terrorist attacks, is enough for me to want to feel emotions toward the day. I do not remember September 11, 2001, but I will absolutely never forget its impact.